chapter six

so it turns out we were able to go inside the dam which included walking down a tunnel inside a mountain for a mile wearing hard hats provided by the company (CFE) with six cars full of people.
it was fun, i have to admit.
then we went to the top and looked down.
holy
shit.
it
was
very
high
and
the
urge
to
spit
over
the
edge
was
great.
but i didnt want to break the rules.
and i wasnt sure if that was allowed.
my cousins, eager to find me a girl, were surprised to find me mingling with a pair of females.
i told them i wasnt flirting even though they made a big deal of it.
sadly, they seemed eager to get a guy (or maybe its just animal magnetism) and were obviously flirting.
note to all females : no, i am interested in someone already, too late bitches.
so after that we came home.
well, my home away from home which is the only home available to me here in this small town.
i was itching to go aroung the town though so i biked for two hours from like 8-10 at night.
i raced a quad.
haha
i won.
JP: master of pedal powered mechanisms.
so the story for the ending i wrote seems to be a tragedy.
the hero dies.
and apparently, so does humanity.
sucks.

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

powerpuff girls Z????????
wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

captains log number google.....

the silliness has returned.
i wondered where it had gone.
no letters, no phone calls.
it came back with a tan though, it must have been somewhere sunny.
anyways, it has been an interesting experience her in el fuerte.
i learned that there are more women than there are men.
this information is an understatement.
holy shit, femalelandia.
thats spanish for femaleland.
landia=land.
got it?
good.
now give me an apple.
bitch.
so yesterday we had part three of a church sermon.
it was for my uncle who died of cancer.
in case you werent aware.
he talked about good recognition.
apparently what people think of you is important if you are to get into heaven.
....
....
....
shit.
there is to be a partay in the plaza this new yeaqrs.
there will be dancin.
there will be drinkin.
there will be women.
wow, thay all ended in "n".
i will attend.
i have an inexplicable urge to dance ever since yesterday night when i was, again, chillin in the plaza.
that seems to be the most popular hang out spot for the teens.
then again, there arent many spots to begin with.
yesterday, the family and i went to the damn, one of the marvels of this town.
it was pretty cool.
except my dad called me a puto which i did not like at all.
i was taking a breather after climbing 100 aztec steps up to an old water god idol and my mom called from the bottom for me to take pics of my bro.
i said in a minute.
and then she asked me again and again and i shouted down that i was coming.
my dad thought i shouted in anger but i shouted cause i wasnt sure she heard me.
he called me a puto and then i shouted at him in anger not to call me a puto.
what a lovely story.
so after that wonderful visit to the damn, the family had a fish fry by the river.
it was cool.
except for the bugs.
they had a suspention bridge for people to cross the river and explore caves in the mountains on the other side.
i went with a few cousins of my cousins.
not relation to me at all.
and we got lost in the mountains.
it was getting dark so we hurried to find the trail.
they wanted to go north but the river was south so i told them.
they were like, como estas seguro que el sur es para ya?
translation: how can you be sure the river is that way?
i told them the sun sets in the west.
bang bitch.
city boy got a brain.
so we got back in time for church.
after church i stayed with a cousin and a friend of mine at the plaza.
i have learned that my energy is not as accepted here as it is in the USA so i played the cool card.
it was awesome the way tourists talked to eachother when they dont know one person there understands them.
it was a shocker
for them :]
so in four days i shall be back in the US.
but for now, i shall wait.
we are going to go to another damn today.
yipee
<3

chapter 4

it has been odd.
yesterday i went to the plaza with my two new friends and my little cousin.
it was a fun night i guess. it never is cold here, not even at night.
i took pictures, i made jokes.
i miss my friends. i miss english!!
so i wrote the ending to a story yesterday, climax is the only thing im good at.
it is pretty good.
cliche but good.
my uncles son came.
hes two.
he smaked the heck out of my bro.
it was cool.
my friends and i finally have contact.
serious shit is going down bitches
....
srrz
<3

chapter 3

well this vacation nhas been... different.
my cousins tried to hook me up with this one gild here but luckly i found out about their plan before it was to late.
under different circumstances, i would have been interested, i guess.
but not now :]
so i got no gifts rom my family this year, the economy has not been good to us at all.
so i wonder is the academy of art is even an option anymore...
probably not but....
blah, my future is uncertain.
i will probably end up a bum or orking at crappy job.
i cat say it wasnt expected.
art is a tricky buisness but i shall try to make it work.
i hope it does.
...
so none of my friends have messaged me nor i have messaged them.
whats up with that?
except for you Miluiel.
but as or the rest nothing....
i shall break the trend.
whatever is going on or whatever isnt, it doesnt mean we are all not to communicate.
btw: this song is crack to me
http://search.playlist.com/tracks/have%20i%20been%20a%20fool
Amin mela lle Miluiel
i mean it :]

chapter 2

i was confronted by my drunk uncles two nights ago.
they offered me liquor. they offered me beer. they offered me a lot of things.
sure, the temptation was there. my parents would be at an aunts house and i could drink all i wanted and they would never know.
it was perfect. i had a chance to drink.
and i didnt.
it was the right think to do.
i forced myself not to get caught up in the moment.
because if one is, the stupidest things occur.
and they didnt :)
sure, i might have enjoyed it. hell, i might even love doing it but i did not.
out of respect for my family, my friends, and myself.
anyways, yesterday i went fishing with my dad and uncle and granpa.
all the males basically.
it was okay.
the whole family is fishing crazy.
i dont think ive had anything else but fish this whole effing trip.
im not complaining. they are cooked to perfection.
i cause A fish and then stopped.
i find it boring.
im impatient and loud.
i prefer rock climbing or snowboarding.
i need adrenaline.
but it gave me time to think.
i thought and i thought and i thought...
wow, the padres are being sold due to the managers divorce.
theres a shocker.
and i also thought about my comic, my life, my grades, my ideas, my heart, and my friends.
that is the only part of the day i liked.
i told my dad i was gonna walk to my grandmas house and he said i was nuts and that i was gonna get lost but i proved them wrong.
i found my way back from the river to the house.
and on the way i met two local girls who were in the plaza.
they are nice and we are hanging out today.
making friends here is easy.
tomorrow is christmas.
i shall receive nothing from my parents.
not because i was bad, which, if one takes all of the year into account, i wasnt.
but because of the lack of money.
i told them it didnt matter.
i didnt want anything which is a lie.
i wanted a lot of art stuff but i didnt care.
i am going to work for it.
today in the morning my brothers big goofy face was the first thing i saw.
he said gdmournaing than!!
he calls me than.
cute
so i shoved him off me and i tickled him.
it was a bonding moment :)
then i ate fish, petted my grandmas cat and biked with my cousins to this internet cafe.
they are watching videos.
yay.
well, i hope you all have a good chrismas and i hope you guys still think of me sometimes.
cause i think of you guys a lot.
bye.
Amin mela lle Miluiel

Chapter 1

i have arrived in el fuerte, sinaloa, mexico.
it wasnt easy i tell you, it had its frustrations, its bad moments.
but i ad plenty of time to think. plenty of time to consider the events both past,present,and those which are yet to ocurr.
i miss my friends, some more than others, i admit.
i wonder how things are. i wonder if they even think about me.
probably not.
but whatever.
i find that i miss one person the most though. i ned their company and i really need to hug them.
my bro is okay, at the beginning of the ride he was sick with the cold, which he is, apparently, rid of now.
i think he pasted on to me.
we had a warm welcome, and we all talked, a family united once more.
the important thing is that i escaped from the drama which was sure to come.
i will have to face it sooner or later but it will happen.
till next time
i luv you

it's hard to lose something you had that you thought you'd have forever

my uncle died last night.
i found out this morning.
my aunt was by his bedside.
cancer claims another victim.
i hate cancer.

i will be gone

and i will miss everything.
i have learned a lot this year.
but i have not learned enough this life.
my eyes ahve been opened to somethings, my back has been turned on others.
i am disappointed.
i am sad,
i am nostalgic.
i have learned many things.

people tend to surprise you. whether it be with random acts of kindness, unexpected reactions, or lies and deceit.

sometimes, life gives you crap, and you gotta make due with what you got. no one is perfect, and i'm not asking anyone to be. i definitely am far from that. but i do as for people to think, if not, to act with virtue. there is a book called the Book of Virtues. my father purchased it for e when i was young and i always read it. now it lies in the corner of my room in tatters. it is worn from constant reading and abandoned, not because i ignore it's lessons, but because i have learned all of them. try to read it and learn.

listen to yourself. it that who you want to be?
look at your self. what would your younger self say about you?
be the best you can be, ignore the feelings that come with warnings or insecurity.

and lastly, friends matter. they are there for you. they will bethere for you every step of the way. whether you do great things, or whether you do things people will hate you for, friends will stick by you. i've had no friends before. i dont want anyone to feel that again.

i hope everyone of you had a safe christmas and new years. i will be away, but i will always be here as well. think of what i believe, think of what i have learned. and act with virtue.

chemistry

of sorts.
going to mexico, be back soon.
merry christmas.
happy new years.

genius

my best friend gave me a stupendous idea.
thanks dude.
Bro <3

i dont remember when.

but alfonso asked me to define a friend.
i couldn't answer him honestly.
frankly, i dont think i can.
god, i feel like shit!
maybe it's because that is my mood whenever i'm alone or feel alone.
i need to make someone laugh.
i need someone to talk to without restraint.
right now i have no one like that.
i cant start a journal.
i cant trust myself.
i like to share.
a lot.
i feel pressure in my chest.
i dont like it.
i'm whining.
i need to do more.
but i'm restraining myself.
i cant share.
when i want to.
maybe it's cause i dont trust anyone anymore?
yes, i think that's it.
peoplereading this might be unhappy but it's true.
hate me if you want.
i dont care.
i really dont.
not anymore.

Change

it's happening too fast.
i'm not one to jump straight into the heart of the fire.
i like to wade in first, to test and see if i like what happens.
i'm drifting.
i'm bored.
it's not the same.
should i let go?
or should i hold on?
i find it difficult, everyday, to keep up a sharade of any magnitude.
soon, i wont care enough to give a shit.
it's in my nature to ignore.
i hate it.
i hate.
i cant let myself...
blah... just blah.
i'm tired.
i need something new.
i need something exciting.
creative and amazing.
spontaneous and fun.
i need to rethink everything.
do i like where i'm going?
rrr...
i wish life were clay.
then i could easily mold it into whatever i desire.
i'm just tired.
bored.

why do i feel like the jim crowe laws?

seperate, but equal.
or is it equal, but seperate in this case?
w/e.
i'll survive.

When has life been as such?

never in my life would i have seen myself as what i am now.
my 3 year old self would have been sad that my super powers have not been revealed by now.
my 6 year old self would be happy i would have friends.
my 9 year old self would be happy i can sorta draw.
my 12 year old self would be confused by my career choice.
my 15 year old self would be sad i haven't found someone
...
my 18 year old self, however, would accept me for what i am.
why do i think about these things?
why do i ponder rhetorical questions?
i'm not a philosopher.
more of a fool when it is compared.
but i am an questioning fool.
the type you'd want to keep alive.

pointless

i feel unfullfilled.
like as if i live for no reason whatsoever.
i'm a waste of space.

i need a mission.
i need an adventure.
i need denger.
i need excitement.

i know this is not the first time i say it but i'm sur eit wont be the last.

"Sometimes....

When we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank god for Bavarian sugar cookies..."

man, i love Stranger Than Fiction. i just spontaneously checked it out of the library and watched it.
in my opinion, the only movie that rivals it is Dan In Real Life.
but i have to ask myself, why?
what is the similarity between these two movies?
i found one: they both start off with a loser and as the story progresses, they grow as characters and they find love.
maybe i like cliche' movies?
yes, i think that's it.

i dont know what to think anymore....

afterschool just shook me up.
so what are we then?
that kiss was not a friend kiss, i'm sorry.
i dont kiss friends like that.

so anyways, today i got some good karma to lessen my bad karma.
the bus dropped me off at the encanto recreational center as always and my mom was down at the jungle gym with mah bro.
but she was not alone.
the was a lady, crying with her face pink, talking to my mom in a frustrated and hopeless voice.
i asked my mom what was up and she told me the lady was sick. she said she had a high fever and her kids wouldn't listen to her (two little brats on the jungle gym with my bro... disrespecting little asses...).
so i asked for her address and i told her we would take her home (since i speak better english apparently).
she said she didn't need one and that she would be alright by waiting for the bus but i told her it was too cold for us to refuse any help.
she gave in.
yeah, i said it santa....

to sum it up.

well, yesterday was chillaxed. today is high in intensity.
i have not done the sketchbook assignment or my hitory questions.
i will get on that immediatly.
ladies :]

my ipod was stolen.

i couldn't sleep.
i need my ipod or else i'm dead.
see, it cost 200 dollars from my parents part.
we dont have much money so things like this are hard to come by.
i really much doubt i will get it back today but the prospect is black...
yay, like two people will get that reference.
i really really need it.

I just discovered something.

well, i'm new to this bloggy blog world of the blogger net.
i have two unexpected visitors.
two people that are watching my blog without me knowing about it till today.
they aren't unwelcomed but i would like some heads up.
i was suprised.

so lately....

i have been bored.
i need some excitement.
is there some bear i can wrestle? some plane i can jump off? somebullets i can dodge?
i want to be incredible. i want to be amazing.
i want to be famous.
Crowds cheering, laughs share, happiness to be spread.
i was that to happen with me at the head of it all.
i want to be a hero.
i want to rescue someone form the tracks of a train.
i want to save someone from a storm in the pacific.
i want to help people about to die.
i want to live to the fullest.
the fullest.

Stupid website and it's hippie music!!!

Project playlist needs to die.
or at least get better.
i was looking for the classic song Yakety Sax by Boots Randolph on it and it gave me something that was not Yakety Sax.
RRRRR!!!!

the microwave came back from Geek squad

my meat did not :/

Porkchop Problems....

i arrived home today hungry.
and our microwave door had trapped the innocent yet suprisingly juicy porkchops within it's belly.
the door refuses to budge.
so anyways, today was an okay day.
a friend of mine admitted to me that she had feelings for another guy. She wanted to cheat on her boyfriend.
folks... dont be stupid. cheating is about the worst thing that one can do in a relationship.
it hurts both sides and it is just plain stupid.
morals in this world are almost nonexistent, a sad truth among many.
i was shocked though, by her admitting this to me.
she is a wonderful person i love and care for. she is responsible, has a a sense of humor and is beautiful beyond compare.
but wow...
i told her my story. the one my closest friends know.
the one i regret occured.
at first i wasn't honest with her. i lied and told her the story that made me look good. but then i told her the truth.
and how i was ashamed of what happened.
but that will always be my biggest mistake.
i didn't want an affair to be hers.
i dont want her to live with this guilt.

i dont know what to think

nothing seems for sure anymore.
sad, really.
i went to sleep late yesterday. i did not enjoy it.
my eyes screamed to be shut but i had a duty to Turtle+Bat.
i finished this morning around 7 (after sleeping 5 hours or so) and posted. never procrastinate.
but i never listen to life's lessons for long....

NOOOOO....

i was drunk today.
i wasn't really, but it's fun to pretend to be. i stumbled and i moved from side to side, never being properly stable and if so, it never lasts long.
also slurr half your words and unfocus your eyes from time to time.
when you spend enough christmases in mexico with family, you see all types of drunk all the time.
it was fun though, cause i was at the mall with two of my closest friends and they tried to help me since i "fell over" onto a potted plant. i looked at them and shoved their helping hands away saying, "NOOOO.... "
i would never get drunk though, it's too... unsafe? W/e, i cant find the right word.
words have never been my thing. i can never find the right one when i need it and i always misspell. drawng is more of my style. i'm a strong believer of "a picture is worth a thousand words".
of course, there are other factors contributing my preference of the visual arts.
i never know when to stop describing stuff or when i need to describe more.
see, the beauty of art is that the picture gives you... the picture! there are no need of endless adjectives and fancy pronouns and what-not. you draw it, the audience accepts it.
in many ways art is more accepted than writting.
overall, most people dont read books.
a sad fact but also a true one, at least, no one around my age reads for fun
there are exceptions but still. the average joe tags nowadays.
put a book and a comic book together in front of an average teenager.
he's gonna pick the comic, i promise.
pretty pictures and stuff guide teens like lights to a moth.
well, look at what we have here, folks. a genuine rant.
boy i haven't seen anyone rant like this in years.
so to summarize... my day was fun.
and i am getting you a present, you know who you are. ;]

Ahhhhh......

Saturday mornings.
i used to wake up ridiculously early to watch cartoons when i was young.
i followed them religiously. watching every episode while sitting cross-legged on the carpet.
i also usually had cereal to devour since mom forbid me from touching the stove, toaster, and microwave. no trust, i tell you, none at all.
Anyways, i got up early this morning, around seven thirty in the morning and i felt nostalgic all of a sudden. a good sign of old age.
i thought, "man, my younger self would have been up two hours ago wondering why cartoons always started so late (they began at 6 in the morning).
so this morning, i decided not to watch cartoons. i haven't in probably 6 months and i wasn't really interested. so i got out my CD player and put in the Poison Kiss album of The Last Goodnight and i began to devour a book i checked out from the library called Genius Squad.
it's about hackers and stuff. in all honesty, i'm indepthly skimming the book. that might not make sense but i basically get the storyline and what's happening but not how it's happening. the author has a tendency to blab and blab on about how a hacker does this and that.
i dont understand a word of it.
frankly i'm not interested.
that's right Cathrine Jinks, i said it and i dont regret it.
so after an hour or two of ravenous reading i decided to get up or i'll be late for the movies with my best friend around 12 today. my dad and bro were up already.
my dad looked like he'd been awake for some time though when i asked him he said he just got up. i decided not to pursue the subject. my bro however, was watching The Land Before TIme II, The Great Valley Adventure. there are way too many of those movies....
i felt like eating an hamburger this morning.
so i busted out potatoes for fries and i peeled them. it's mind numbing work and some people get paid for it. i wouldn't mind it, honestly. money is money, work is work.
i smell the hamburgers cookin', i'm gonna eat soon ;]
today is gonna be cool.

i take back my previous post.

i just found out my uncle is in the final stages.
there is no hope and he is going to die.
there is a tear on my cheek.

so, i feel pretty mellow.

i mean, i really cant complain right now.
i'm talking to the best people in the world (sorry dalih lama) and my mom made cookies.
it would be great but my uncle is dying of cancer so he's always in the back of my mind...

Hmmm... blog paradox

a blog is a personal thing.
yet you can have views.
w/e, i shall use it as a diary/journal/any other way to say the previous two words.
however it shall mention names rarely and be in encrypted/coded/ whatever.

Once again....

xkcd.com hit's the nail on the head.
today's forcast will be okay, with a side of w/e.
tomorrow we will expect slightly drowzy with a 89% chance of going to the movies.
and now here's sports.
Thanks jon, it was a high risk game for the emotions last night as they pommeled through the thoughts. the end score was too close to call.
back to you jonathan.
thanks johny.
well, this concludesthe news for today. we leave you now with the images of a water skiing squirel to remind you to follow your passion, if not, the weather.
I'm Jonathan with JJJ morning news, goodbye.

Shakemexican Poet.

I'm quite the poet,
dont ya know it?

Queen

I keep listening to them and i have arrived to the conclusion that their songs contain coccaine for i am addicted.

I'm feeling oh so happy... (subject due to change)

today was great.
it really was. my friends were awesome and the weather was cool and i had fun.
now i'm relaxed and euphorious.
i feel on top of the world or something similar to it.

Inspiration!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got an idea!!!!

The Bitterness of Failure.

I failed to post my comic today. An the words of another webcomic keep comic to me. The main protagonist named Rayne takes his neice to Comic-con and they go down Artists alley which is the place webcomic people share their stuff. One artist approaches them and asks if he would buy something and Rayne says, "I promise I will buy everything on this table if you can honestly say you have never missed a post. The man instantly wept for he couldn't say it.
I didn't want that to be me. Then again I was kinda cocky. I used to plan before hand but i left it all to luck ad it was a mistake it turned out....
I shall post late, I got no other options.

R.I.P. Front lawn tree...

The tree fell.
It was sad.
The driveway was a mess but my dad and i cleaned it up pretty nicely in an hour or so.
It lasted +9 years.
It hosted my first club in the neighborhood.
May it rest in peace