Change

it's happening too fast.
i'm not one to jump straight into the heart of the fire.
i like to wade in first, to test and see if i like what happens.
i'm drifting.
i'm bored.
it's not the same.
should i let go?
or should i hold on?
i find it difficult, everyday, to keep up a sharade of any magnitude.
soon, i wont care enough to give a shit.
it's in my nature to ignore.
i hate it.
i hate.
i cant let myself...
blah... just blah.
i'm tired.
i need something new.
i need something exciting.
creative and amazing.
spontaneous and fun.
i need to rethink everything.
do i like where i'm going?
rrr...
i wish life were clay.
then i could easily mold it into whatever i desire.
i'm just tired.
bored.